The Exquisite Luxury of Bloom Time

Time is the ultimate luxury.

It’s taken me a whole lot of frivolous spending and a deeper appreciation of the short life-span of my favorite flowers to realize it.

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I remember a newspaper column by Boston Globe columnist Ellen Goodman I read many years ago, when I  was in my early 20s and I thought 30 was old, about how she measured the rest of her life in lilac blooms. Goodman hoped she had at least another twenty lilac blooms to go. I thought this was the strangest thing I’d ever heard.

But now that I’m on the back side of forty, I understand.

As the iris bed I planted last August begins to reap museum-quality beauty each morning, and then fades within a day or two, I understand. Another year. An entire year before I will see them again. Another year older, if I’m so blessed.

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Crocus. Daffodils. Tulips. Flowering crab trees. Lilacs. Poppies. Peonies. Irises. I cherish the succession.

Each of my lovely blooms last just a few exquisite days. I look forward to each of them like a child looks forward to a visit from Santa. I wake up each morning, grab my camera, and run outside to see what is opening, what has blossomed over night, what is peaking and what is fading.

I photograph each beautiful iris bloom in dusky morning light and in full afternoon sun. I marvel at the irises’ frilly apricot standards, the fuzzy lavender and pale yellow caterpillar beards, veins of fuchsia and purple speckled falls.

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This year is especially poignant for me. For the past two months, I have been watching as my mother’s mind slowly slips away, succumbing to the final throes of dementia. She has been staying with me a week now. While she has been frustrated, fearful, angry, sobbing, sometimes all of the above, I have seen her soothed by the familiarity of my garden. She remembers the peonies of her grandmother’s garden. She felt the satisfaction of mimicking me, as I planted container gardens. She recognized the feathery Cosmos seedlings, just three inches high.

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My poppies are thick and lush right now, as they are each Memorial Day weekend. The tight round balls of luscious pink peonies always follow in the first days of June. It’s a succession you can count on like Monday follows Sunday.

These are the luxuries that I cherish.

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Flower blooms are free to everyone. A beautiful peony is no more beautiful to the rich man as it is to the poor. In a world of technology that moves at warp speed and dissolves in the seconds of a Snapchat snap, moments spent observing the smallest details of a flower petal are savored.

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I try not to think of how many more magnificent lilac blooms I will enjoy,  how many opportunities I have to inhale their delicious perfume. As I see my mother follow the same path my grandmother took with Alzheimer’s, I wonder if I, too, will slip away too soon. But then I pull my attention back to this day, this moment. I am grateful to enjoy this bloom. I wake up each morning, a little earlier to see what’s blossomed.

I hope you do, too. Because time is the ultimate luxury.

 

 

4 thoughts on “The Exquisite Luxury of Bloom Time

  1. Beautifully written. We all grapple with growing older, with watching our parents age, and not knowing how will it end. It is important to live each day to the fullest. Be kind, do good, share love. That is our purpose. We are given the opportunity to reset the timer each and every morning. Given the opportunity of do-overs, to mend fences, to make things better, to forgive, to be forgiven and to enjoy all that surrounds us. Be blessed on your unique journey.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love reading your posts! Your photos are exquisite. I’m so sorry about your mom and what you’ve been going through. I’m glad the garden is bringing you some peace, and your doggies, too. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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